I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
