i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
