Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
