He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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