she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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