I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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