she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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