"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
