"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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