Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Let's paint friendship bongs
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
