Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
