I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
