I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
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