Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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