Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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