you guys were way drunker than both of me
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
