Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
