Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
