I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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