booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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