Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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