i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
