Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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