the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
