If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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