We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
