i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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