I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
