fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
