she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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