I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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