Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he puts the penis in happiness.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Randomize
