You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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