Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
third nipple confirmed
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
