Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
