Only a mothe r could love this liver
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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