If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
