Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
