i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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