It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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