none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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