the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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