I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
