I understand Curling. That high.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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