im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
