I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
