There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
