Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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