I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
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