The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
