You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
3pm strippers are depressing
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
