So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
