You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
