The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
