so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
