Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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